#it feels silly bc i think id still be spending more money and i dont want extra electronics

[itsalwaysdark]

its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF

[oars]

wondering if maybe i should get a refurbished tablet to draw on so when i buy a laptop i want to actually run things i wont have to be so focused on it also being a 2 in 1 touchscreen

[annashipper]

JT Anon

Anna:  JT sent me a very ranty submission in reply to this ask (LINK), so I’m including the ask herein for easy reference:

Nonny:   if they did go home together they could both have used the back door, no? why the pap op? to help publicize kubrick event, perhaps? also, she might have stayed in nyc because she has friends to see and didn’t need to rush back two days after met gala. we don’t know whether whole family, including nanny, didn’t come to nyc cause we didn’t see anyone, including BC, arrive at JFK. so it’s possible they all arrived together and left separately. details.

JT Anon:  but nonny this is the problem, we ALWAYS have to think of some excuse as to why ben is travelling alone, and surely they must have just arrived together (or left together). the fact of the matter is, ben went on record to say that if he is EVER away form the kids for more than a day or two, he has the entire family w him. full stop. that is what he said. and yet immediately after he said that we have not seen him travelling w his kids once. not once. in fact we’ve never seen ben and sophie complete a trip together since she gave ‘birth’. its always only on one end. also between you and me, the idea that these two have to have a nanny w them 24/7 because they can’t simply parent their kids w out other adults is hellah sad to me. i know they would be going to events etc, but still.

maybe thats why BC doesn’t have any anecdotes about his kids, he doesn’t actually spend any time w them at all. he is constantly farming them off to other people

personally, while im w anna in that i think the majority of enty stuff is pr fed, if i were to believe that the kids were real and living w him, then i believe enty when he says ben is just simply lying. mainly because only a pretty nasty guy would drag his tiny newborn infants onto multiple flights into different time zones, only to ditch them w the help and not parent them on said flights

I also agree w enty that he is lying about having his kids w him everywhere because we just haven’t seen it. it just simply doesn’t make sense that a man would go to all the trouble to hire very expensive 24/7 hour help (because, again, who wants to be left alone w their kids? not ben. not sophe. if what ben says is true, these two are not hands on parents. we have a lot of proof of that) only to arrive and leave w them sep every single time. i mean, what sort of man disrupts his kids like that so he can feel like he is being a god father, all the while not even bothering to sit w them on a plane? like if ben cant even get on and off a plane w his kids…

in this case, the simplest ex is likely the truth. he is lying. we have photographic evidence of bens travels, and since saying he is never w out them, we have actually never seen him w them.

if you believe that the kids are real, and that ben is not such a horrid parent that he immediately leaves the plane, ignoring his kids and walking off in front of cameras for pap shots, leaving either w a nanny or both sophie and a nanny to struggle w the kids (out the door w no paps? if he is private, and the kids have found a way in and out of the airport w out paps…why don’t they all do that…since they don’t want attention)

this brings us back to those little calendars of travel we have of ben. assuming the kids are real, ben has left his kids for literally MONTHS. months. If you add up all the weeks he took off, its been MONTHS he has left his kids, from the min they were born. he has left his kids for months, because i do not believe he has had them w him (and ben, if you drag kids through an airport now its not going to convince me). we have proof he lied and doesn’t take them w him.

If I were to believe the kids were real, then at this point i would think that all of that talk about finding his love and finally rocking his babies in his arms were stories for branding purposes. (i happen to think they were, however i always assumed there was some mild truth to it and they just hammered it to make him likeable to his female fan base, that the topic didn’t actually loom that large in his head) and because he branded himself as being desperate for love and babies, when sophie turned up preg, likely not by him, he had to double down on it. plus i also think he saw attention and big ass dollar signs. i think he and his team know that sophie causes this little discussion, and they are very happy to keep her around, and seen exactly the way she is to cont this steady stream of attention and eyeballs on his articles and pics that have her just off to the side. then not, then to the side again.  

hence the stories that he travels w his kids when we can see he does not

hence the stories that he rushes to give them a bath every night when we can see him away from home at at events were that isn’t possible.

hence all the other anecdotes from him about kids that are impossibilities and lies

if i were to believe the kids were real, i would believe that he is not a hands on father. that he does not spend much time, if any at all, w his kids. that he has round the clock care raising them. that he isn’t that interested in being a parent, and his stories are just keeping up w previous branding that was also untrue.

I personally always thought that pining for love and a family thing was for branding for his female fanbase, and if his kids and marriage are real, then i tend to believe it was less true and more branding  than i had originally thought

I think this is why so many of the nans have to tangle and pin red string onto dates and locations when seeing ben travelling alone and not out w his kids and saying things about kids that make no sense. they bought the pining for love and a kid thing hook, line and sinker. they thought it was the absolute truth. it never occurred to them that bens team took “yeah , sure id like a wife and kids one day” and turned it into “Ben weeping out of loneliness wants nothing more than to find his soulmate and rock his babies it consumes his heart!” because the response from his fan base was positive.  Because they bought this story and didn’t for one second think anything about bens personality was tweaked and manufactured, they can’t entertain the idea that now, now that he has found his heart (he TOLD them he lovedher! He SAID we HAVE to love her too!!!) and has kids, that his behaviour wouldn’t match whatever fairy tale they have in their heads.

they cannot accept that ben leaves his kids for weeks on end, so there MUST be some convoluted story of sophie CONSTANTLY staying behind w a nanny to visit friends when they are in NYC. They have to CONSTANTLY have the nanny w them 24/7 because there is no other way to explain them being in these places and not having their kids. They MUST only be out when they are seen, because they have to explain why he would bring his kids to NYC, only to leave them every night and every day to shop and eat.

I dont know what they’ve come up w to explain the fact that ben has now had 2 or 3 children and has not a single story about parenting that makes sense.

if you believe the kids are real, then the reality is this is not a man who spends time w his kids. his stories suggest he doesn’t even know them frankly. his stories about them make absolutely no sense. anyone who has done a daily routine w kids from ages birth to 8 knows that what he says makes no sense, and there are very specific things he has not said that he could absolutely say w out it being some invasion of privacy

I think nans just don’t want to accept that ben is not a loving hands on father. he doesn’t spend that much time w his kids. he would rather go work and party and vacation and socialise. he is perfectly happy to leave his kids w hired help constantly. he is perfectly happy to go on constant vacations and leave his kids. he isn’t all that interested in being w them during the day.

I think they also don’t want to accept that, like thousands of celebs before them, he sees these kids as a money making opportunity. that doesn’t mean he is forcing them to perform, but he can monetise them, and he has. he has tried to sell their pictures, he is using these silly stories for clicks, he hires paps. he has branded them into his image to make cash, while not spending much time w them

its actually not that hard to believe, it would be what makes the most sense in this situation. ben has kids he doesn’t really care for, isn’t’ interested in parenting. he has the cash to throw at people so he isn’t responsible for them, and he monetises them in as many ways possible to at least get some cash money out of this situation

its only people who believe the branded intimacy that have to spin in circles to make this not that. people who bought the idea that out of all the celebs on earth, he was not branded. they really super duper know him for real. they can tell he is totes genuine, he would never lie to them, he really does love his fans on some intimate level (how on earth?).

admitting that ben is a liar, that he does call the paps, that he does monetise his personal life, that he does brand his kids, that he isn’t the family man he says he is would be to admit that they were wrong about having some sort of understanding about a public figure that is more intimate than is actually possible. they would have to admit that, just like thousands of fans before them, they were suckered into not only thinking HE was special, but THEY are too.

and now before anyone gets on our cases and starts spitting on their computer screen as they shout “BIT RICH FOR YOU GUYS WHO ARE OBSESSED WITH HIM AND HIS FAMILY!!!!!!” There is a difference. We simply happen to take what he is saying and think its nor true and that he lies.We work w what we see.

Having said that, there ARE people who are skeptical of this whole thing who DO take it too far and think they they have some sort of connection w ben. The only broad thing I will say about that is, when discussing ANY public figure, if someone truly does believe that there are somehow secret messages being conveyed from said public figure, either from clothing choices, word choices, gestures, and that those secret messages have special meanings for that person because there is some sort of understanding between them and the public figure, despite no actual contact, i would HIGHLY encourage people not to engage w this person. don’t’ make fun of them, don’t’ attempt to talk them out of their thought process, it won’t work. just cut off communication about said public figure

sorry, this was a long one anna!

J travels w her dogs and actually leaves the aiport w them T anon

Anna:  I cosign 99.9% of what JT had to say above.  Especially these two parts:

the fact of the matter is, ben went on record to say that if he is EVER away form the kids for more than a day or two, he has the entire family w him. full stop. that is what he said. and yet immediately after he said that we have not seen him travelling w his kids once. not once. in fact we’ve never seen ben and sophie complete a trip together since she gave ‘birth’. . . . ben has now had 2 or 3 children and has not a single story about parenting that makes sense.

[fentonio]

red yellow green :^)

putting this in a read more bc theres a lot o questions :^)

red:

how was your first kiss? mm unless u count a like, 1 second peck from a boy in 1st grade idk yet ;p that one was funny tho

what do you love about yourself? i love that people feel comfortable talking to me about things. like, i love that people see me as trusting and a person to go to for both fun and comfort. i love looking at my growth too, like while i’m still not 100% happy with everything about myself, i’ve come a long way in recent years.

when’s the last time you warmed your hands in front of a fire? god its been 2 long thats for sure, probably summer?? man i miss campfires w/my friends

would you rather watch a sunrise or sunset? there’s a part of me thats like “sunrise bc i dont see em as often” but nothing beats a summer sunset at like 9 pm

what’s the best thing about summer? i love so many parts of summer!! i love the warmth, i love going swimming, i love running around all day with friends and sitting in the grass barefoot after a long day and dancing as the sun goes down and just those unbothered moments of freedom and joy... say what u will but summer’s still my fave season

yellow: 

if you could have any view from your bedroom window what would you choose? tbh i’m really happy with my one at home, it’s just trees and sky and my beautiful backyard... i guess something where 0 manmade things r in sight

what’s your favorite thing to do on a sunny day? if its warm get out and hang with friends! go swimming, have a picnic! i wanna have a picnic so bad @rosebeaches​ lets have a picnic when it gets warm again

what do you consider lucky? umm black cats, the number 13... frogs r definitely good luck! usually small things that i notice throughout the day im like “thats a good luck sign”, ex. driving thru my valley and seeing cows. cows r 100% good luck. :^)

what made you smile today? seeing friends!! dq blizzards and purple corduroy painters pants!!! hell yeah!! 

what makes you happy? spending time with people i love, music things (making playlists & playing instruments & stuff), drawing, reading silly stories, video games, dancing, singing... lots of things make me happy tbh!

green: 

what’s your favorite thing to do outside? i like going on walks and exploring

do you like camping? tbh ive never officially “been camping” besides like camp stuff they did thru school, which idk if that counts that much?? i think i would enjoy it if my body cooperated

what would you spend $1,000 on? adfkghsdfkjgljf the concept of spending that much money is so.... overwhelming tbh like idk if i can say??? if this is in the future and i’m financially stable as hell then id def spend it on gifts for my friends/family.... if now i’d probably still spend some on friends and probably save the rest lmao

what’s your job, or what do you want to do as your job? dream job would b movie director with a lot of power over what I can Do, or a video game designer/writer or something... or something involving psych... idk the dream is still writing cool media people love

what’s your favorite article of clothing? umm it might b my beautiful 80s/90s blue-and-black sweater... i love that thing so much it’s fucking gorgeous, like its just so GOOD

[kennothythebard]

Things I’ve learned about writing DEH characters

THIS IS NOT A GUIDE BY ANY MEANS THIS IS JUST SOME OBSERVATIONS AND THINGS I DO.

So while researching for and writing “A Worthy Explanation” (pls read i crave validation) I’ve noticed a lot of little things that I don’t always see mentioned in writing guides for these characters so I thought I’d point some of these out. Idk how love this is going to be so I’ll prolly put a cut here.

General

I like to create kind of a “loneliness chart” and graph the kids on it (looks kinda like those political alignment things). On one axis theres introverted vs. extroverted, and on the other theres like polite vs. rude I guess? But in summary: Evan is introverted polite, Jared is extroverted rude, Alana is extroverted polite, Connor is introverted rude, and Zoe... is just kinda generally lonely. Where she falls really depends on what’s going on with her (but she typically is a less extreme introverted rude than Connor).

Obviously each character has their own faults, but I often see these faults viewed quite selectively, see “cinnamon roll evan” and “fucking larry” for two very different examples of this phenomenon. Evan is not perfect and always trying to be nice, and Larry is not a super abusive parent who deserves no happiness in this life. They’re both complex and it’s hard to let go of our misconceptions to write truer to the characters (e.g. I really, Really don’t like Larry. I see him as a lousy father who just kind of chose to be “the strict one” but does nothing but criticize and dole out punishment, ignoring his kids any other time), but that’s an important part of deh, is that people aren’t always what we perceive them to be.

Evan

Evan is often viewed as like a cinnamon roll, but in act 2 especially Evan gets mean. Like, he’s dismissive and rude and angry and just a jerk. Evan can be just as bad if not worse than some of the “angrier” characters

Ppl often talk about his lying as his biggest character flaw, but I’d argue that most of the lying we see in the show just stems from the one lie which he was kinda forced to make bc he was in a bad place (i mean, thats pretty much the entire point of awe).

The character flaw that I don’t see discussed enough is that he’s ashamed of his mental illness. He’d rather pretend it’s not there, even when it impacts every part of his life. He doesn’t do the letters the way his therapist assigned them, he’s apprehensive towards medication and stops taking it, and basically feeds into his self-destructive tendencies, arguing his mother sees his as “broke” or something to be fixed.

Jared

I love writing Jared

There’s already a lot about what a complex character he is and stage directions, but one thing that most people notice is his actions frequently contradict his words. Take the sincerely me reprise at the start of act 2. Why would he try to insert himself into the narrative at this point? What good would that do at this point? When evan dismisses him he gets annoyed and defensive. He says that he can’t do anything until Monday because he’s hanging with his camp friends (whom he claims are his “real friends,” a term he will later ascribe to himself regarding Evan in Good For You), and when Evan dismisses him again he tries to offer to help with the kickstarter, but is quickly shot down once more by Evan. Despite what seems to be a natural ending place in the conversation, he insists on continuing to talk with Evan, and when Evan cuts him off again he becomes rude and slightly threatening. This happens over the course of maybe three minutes and it’s one of the most insightful scenes to jared’s character

When writing a canon-compliant Jared, his actions and thoughts should conflict with his words. He cares about Evan but he’d never say that out loud (in more canon-compliant fics), and it hurts when he’s pushed away, which he responds to with anger.

Zoe

Zoe is one of the most difficult characters to write, imo.

She’s often portrayed in a slightly sweeter, saccharine way in fanon as just like a fun, silly girl who is just a tad sarcastic, but really you can tell that she’s Connor’s brother. She’s angry, blunt, unafraid of speaking her mind, etc. Yes, she is funny and kinda sarcastic, but her sarcasm isn’t always of the funny variety. She’s obviously angry at her parents, but this often comes across as a “doesn’t love them” variety of anger when her real feelings seem to be much more complex. 

Basically, I’m still learning a lot about writing her but I think just like the other kids she’s a little lonely, so Evan comes along and he’s there and that’s enough for her. She has such a wide range of emotions that I don’t feel are always accurately represented, even by me. (especially by me)

Alana

Hella, hella lonely. Covers it up by talking to people and doing extracurriculars. Sure, “college apps” is her excuse for why she does so much, but it’s not the real reason. If she keeps busy, she doesn’t have to be alone with her thoughts. But at the same time she has similar fears to Evan about people seeing the worst of her. “Close acquaintances” seems to be a statement about how little she makes friends, but I also see it as a defense mechanism. If she remains “close acquaintances” with people, she’ll never have to be their friend and they’ll never have to see the worst of her.

She’s cheerful and annoying, but in the way that pisses high schoolers off. Like, we all knew that one kid who was just way way too nice, and most of us were like “yeah ok they’re pretty cool i guess” but like some people just hated their positivity. It also doesn’t help that she tries to insert herself in situations she hasn’t been invited in, and does some questionable things to help her accomplish her goals. (Evan/Alana contrast: Evan does questionable things to accomplish internal goals, Alana does them to accomplish external goals)

Gets easily distracted. Forgets to sign Evan’s cast in scene 1. Her mind has a million different thoughts at any given moment. It wouldn’t be out of line to headcanon ADHD Alana (some of the things she does reminds me of the things I do when I forget my meds).

Connor

?????

We don’t see a lot to really get a huge insight into his personality. We know he was angry and had some serious mental illness.

We also know that he could recognize when he went too far and would go out of his way to make amends. (Why was he in the computer lab? Why did he sign Evan’s cast?) He may recognize a kindred spirit in Evan.

Clearly he doesnt hate his family (he goes to school despite not wanting to go, and seeing Zoe’s name is what sets him off showing possible concern), and it would not surprise me to learn that he thought his family would be better and happier without him. He clearly has intense emotions and reactions even to things that might seem minuscule or inconsequential. When writing him in canon, I think of a rubber band stretched too tight, and any characters action could loosen or tighten the pulling.

Heidi

Such an emotional character, I nearly break my own heart when I’m trying to writer her.

Theres two odd kind of paradoxes in a parent-child relationship like that between Heidi and Evan. For Heidi, the paradox is that the more she wants to do for Evan, the less she can actually be there for him. For Evan, he wants his mother to succeed and loves her so much that he might even encourage her to not worry about him or spend time with him, but then resents that she’s never there. Or at least when he meets a mother who can provide and be there.

Heidi pretty much worries herself sick over Evan. Evan comes before everything else in her life, and so it’s easy for her to feel like she failed him, which is a huge reason for her intense reaction in Good for you: evan has just confirmed her fears that she’s failed him.

Heidi tries so hard, but she isn’t perfect. She’s clearly very sensitive about money or about Evan’s father, and this sensitivity can easily change to anger or passive-aggressiveness. She has deep insecurities that we may never see or fully comprehend.

Cynthia

Mom. like shes completely a mom. like, “can i speak to your manager?” type mom.

Loves her kids and tries to be supportive but struggles communicating with two very headstrong, sarcastic kids

she probably wouldn’t say this, but takes connor’s death very personally. wonders why he would do this to her 

Is desperate for her children to listen and understand her. Which Evan is more than willing to do.

A little bit selfish? Like, thinks about what will make her better rather than accepting everybody grieves differently

Larry

Fucking larry. I don’t like him and he’s the hardest character for me to write.

Ok since I made such a big deal about it in the intro i’ll try to be nicer than id normally be

A masculine archetype. Sports dad, wants sports son, which Connor isn’t

He’s got some really ableist/misogynistic tendencies that causes the intense demonization of him in the fanon but I mean... he could be worse i guess? (that’s literally the best i can say about that so yeah i dont like him at all)

Really just oblivious. Completely ignored Connor’s need for help, does not know how to read a room, you could say he frequently has a foot in his mouth if it weren’t so intentional.

I mean...probably a good guy if you can get past all that stuff? just really, really self absorbed.

yikes that was long. Again, not really a guide, just some things I think about when writing these characters. if you read this far at all thank you for indulging me this much.

[livebiganddie]

Ask meme: all

i was told to do all from both posts so alright here we go with that first one

Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen?

black

Would you prefer to live in the country or the city?

ive only ever lived in city places and i cant stand bugs so i guess city bc im a City Boi

If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

uh i really wanna know how to skateboard. so id learn skateboarding or how to be able to skateboard bc my feet are really shitty and idk if i can skate with them

Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar?

i hate coffee and im picky about my hot teas. it has to be pretty sweet so yes sugar

What was your favourite book as a child?

hmm i really loved the magic treehouse series

Do you prefer baths or showers?

showers because baths feel inefficient in a way. idk. should probs treat myself take more baths tho

If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose?

oooo id probably be a werewolf or Cerberus. since werewolves are generic and Cerberus is like a single entity, leaning more towards werewolf

Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books?

paper. electronic books fuck with my eyes more

What is your favourite item of clothing?

my binder uh my space jam t-shirt

Do you like your name? Would you ever change it?

uh Dennis is an ok name. i dont really like where it came from, but i like when my friends call me Denny and idk its cute and i dont wanna change my name and lose that. im going to legally change my name eventually, but im still figuring out what im going to change it to. Something Dennis Something

Who is a mentor to you?

i dont view anyone as a mentor. at least consciously. idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for?

like being famous would mean id have money so im soo down for that. but never being left alone, never havign truly private moments, being constantly critiqued, etc would wear down my mental state really fuckin quickly. but yes, for the money. id wanna be famous for something dog or animal related and/or just being a really nice/loving person

Are you a restless sleeper?

uh sometimes. it depends a lot. my sleeping has gotten better but i wouldnt say its the best sleep

Do you consider yourself a romantic?

uh i dont really think so. im still sorting out what shit is stuff i like and what is stuff i think i feel obligated to like. but yeah bein grey aro is v v interesting

Which element best represents you?

i guess water? bc it can be really calm and forgiving but it can also be really fuckin not chill

Who do you want to be closer to?

myself and other people. just in general other people. i close myself off a lot and im still learning to be open and i havent really experienced much closeness, both mentally and physically. like example: i dont wanna freak the fuck out if i accidentally sit too close to my friend and we touch. idk stuff like that

Do you miss someone at the moment?

i dont think so

Tell us about an early childhood memory.

when my grandpa was still alive and able to drive himself, he used to take me to denny’s every week. i got the same thing. a waffle and apple juice. we always talked but i cant remember about what. probably silly kids stuff lol

What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

im sort of a picky eater, so if it sounds strange i probably wont eat it. im pretty sure all the stuff ive eaten is p “normal”

What can you see outside your bedroom window?

i can see my university’s stadium, other apartments, a dumpster, a small tree or two, road, sidewalk

What are you most thankful for?

making it to where i am now. things might have been shitty and they might be shitty now, but i am thankful for the opportunities ive been given to be where i am now with who im with now

Do you like spicy food?

i love spicy food unless it makes my nose burn. its fine if its my mouth, but not my nose

Have you ever met someone famous?

maybe a race car driver or two (bc of my hometown) but other than that, no

Do you keep a diary or journal?

i used to. i need to take it up again. its really nice

Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

pencil. i make too many mistakes for pens

What is your star sign?

capricorn

Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

crunchy. and get tf outta here if you like soggy cereal man (jk you do you)

What would you want your legacy to be?

being a kind and loving person (also being funny but thats less important to me)

Do you like reading? What was the last thing you read?

i like reading even though i rarely read anymore. the last thing i read was probably the mystery book called like Night or One Night or something. it was p good

How do you show someone you love them?

i try to be there for them if they need me, do small things for them, buy them things when i get the money

Do you like ice in your drinks?

depends on the drink. milk? no. juice? yeee tea? hell yee water? yeah

What are you afraid of?

heights, the unknown, the future, spiders, people i love dying. theres more but i cant think of them rn

What is your favourite scent?

lavender or lilac. fuck me UP

Do you address older people by their first or last name?

growing up, i was told no matter what to not call people older than me by their first name, even if they were okay or told people to call them by their first name. i still kinda do that. im tryin not to tho bc if they wanna be called by their first name, i should respect that

If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

oh SHIT man i would help so many people. i would let people stay at my place if they needed/wanted. i would donate all kinds of shit to all kinds of people. i would give my friends shit. i would save animals from shelters and live in a decent place that the animals would like and my friends could visit

Do you prefer swimming in pools or in the ocean?

the ocean beat me up so much - pools 

What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

spend it on my summer bills

Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?

i honestly dont remember if i have or not

What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

dont take people’s bullshit. love is important, but letting people treat you like shit isnt okay

If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

i already have a tattoo, but if i were to get another one id wanna get a tree (maybe pine?) on the back of my calf

What can you hear right now?

my ac (couple min after answering this, i started listening to Dan Bull’s Dishonored rap on repeat)

Where do you feel the safest?

i could be gay and say “with my friends!!” but honestly, all my friends and i are queer, not cis, and one of them isnt white so im worried for their and my safety a lot (when together and separate) my apartment or my friends rooms are the best places i got but even then i dont feel 100% safe and comfortable. and idk i know a lot of people have more reason to feel unsafe so i guess comparatively, im pretty safe

What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

my (lack of) motivation 

If you could travel back to any era, which would you choose?

uh the past was really shitty i dont wanna go back

What is your most used emoji?

the blue heart bc im gay as fuck

What is your favourite season? Why?

winter bc i love snow and i hate being hot and sweaty (and i get hot and sweaty p easily)

How would you spend your ideal day?

id have slept the previous night for 12 hours, id spend time with friends watching steven universe or brooklyn nine-nine, eat some really good pizza with green peppers, watch youtube, and at some point drink some chocolate milk and apple juice

Describe yourself using one word.

silly

What do you regret the most?

regret for me doesnt last long. when i look back, all that ive done has made me who i am. right after something happens ill get high fuckin levels of regret, but eventually they go away. currently my regret is singing loudly while doing the dishes bc my roommate and their dad walked in on me doing that and i didnt realize so idk how long they were there listening/watching me do that

Invent your own word. What does it mean?

uh oh boy im not creative. noop. means to not be a fan of something or to be in a bad mood.

ok second post time

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

i wish i was like 5′8″ at least (currently 5′6″ and a bit)

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

i really want a dog or a cat or both right now. i know i can choose things that arent real, but man i want a doggo or a kitty

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?

i like the look skaters have lol i like more edgy clothes i guess? street wear. stuff like that

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

i loved the scooby doo games i had growing up like holy shit. i had night of 100 frights and scooby do unmasked (both for xbox) man i miss those games

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

things: money, food, homeworkpeople: my friends

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

WARNING: Quiet, anxious exterior hiding super gay interior

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?

wasnt given a person ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

uh idk how accurate this is but i took a quiz and it told me melancholic

9: Are you ticklish?

sometimes. depends on who it is, where it is, how im feeling

10: Are you allergic to anything?

normal stuff and cats. cats make my eyes really itchy. still gonna get a cat one day tho

11: What’s your sexuality?

asexual/graysexual

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

assuming its hot tea, cocoa

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

i wanna say im a both person, but thatd be lying. i do lean more towards dogs

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

merperson

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?

i really like good mythical morning and cryaotic

16: How tall are you?

5′6″ and a bit

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

Something Dennis Something (im still working on it lol)

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

i havent weighed myself in a while so i dont know exactly how much i weigh rn, but lets just say i weigh more than 200 lbs

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

i dont know. thinking about it fucks with my mind 

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

space is scary as fuck, but the ocean is scarier imo. i like space better

21: Are you religious?

no

22: Pet peeves?

when my stuff gets out of the order i put it in is the only one i can think of rn

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?

nocturnal

24: Favorite constellation?

the dippers bc i have freckles that make a dipper :)

25: Favorite star?

dont have one :/

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

sure

27: Any phobias or fears?

heights, unknown, spiders, death of people i love, becoming someone i hate

28: Do you think global warming is real?

yes

29: Do you believe in reincarnation?

idk. i think itd be interesting. 

30: Favorite movie?

a big’s life and the fox and the hound are the only movies i can think of rn

31: Do you get scared easily?

i startle extremely easily. i also get scared/creeped out fairly easily. i still watch horror shit tho lol

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

just two. my siberian huskies Wolfie and Dakota

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]

youre on anon ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

34: What is a color that calms you?

blues calm me bc theyre so pretty, theyre my fav, and psych shit lol

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

uh im not sure where i wanna travel, just that i wanna go somewhere else. i wanna live in a place that doesnt get too hot, but does have sunshine regularly so i dont get stuck in Depression Zone

36: Where were you born?

indianapolis, indiana

37: What is your eye color?

blue

38: Introvert or extrovert?

introvert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

idk if i believe, but i think theyre fun and i like reading horoscopes and reading zodiac shit

40: Hugs or kisses?

uh never been kissed so hugs

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

im p good rn. my friend recently left my place. alone time is chill

42: Who is someone you love deeply?

my friends

43: Any piercings you want?

i want an industrial on my left ear

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

fuck yeah i do 

45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so?

no and no

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!

no crush lol

47: What is a sound you really hate?

the chair i have that is a rocking chair, when it balances on the back and i dont sit down slowly, itll slam against the ground. i hate that

48: A sound you really love?

baby animals. just in general. so cute

49: Can you do a backflip?

no

50: Can you do the splits?

no

51: Favorite actor and/or actress?

dont have one

52: Favorite movie?

this was #30

53: How are you feeling right now?

anxious as shit 

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

blue or blond

55: When did you feel happiest?

with my friends, watching playthroughs on youtube, listening to my fav music

56: Something that calms you down?

lavender/lilac

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

the usual depression & anxiety, trichotillomania, and since trich is seen as some form of OCD, maybe i have some OCD too? who knows, i dont

58: What does your URL mean?

my friend tagged me in a post and was like “new life motto” i was like “agree” and made the phrase from the post my url

59: What three words describe you the most?

silly, gay, reserved

60: Do you believe in evolution?

yes

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

aphobia, antisemitism, shit like that

62: What makes you follow a blog?

dogs, relatable content, i think the person is cute, pretty content. extra follow if they have multiple of these

63: Favorite kind of person:

kind but takes no shit. is not shitty

64: Favorite animal(s):

dOgS, cats, sloths, seals, manatees, snakes, uhh and the rest of the animal kingdom

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

handsomedogs, all the ace/aro positivity blogs, all the nonbinary positivity blogs

66: Favorite emoticon:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

67: Favorite meme:

fUCK this is hard…. i guess the new positivity memes. where it took something super negative and made it cute and :)

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

INFP-T

69: What is your star sign?

capricorn

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

no

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?

black jeans, grey vans, black socks, space jam shirt (or my black & white vans shirt), my (black and white) staff hat, and my black and white bracelet

72: Post a selfie or two?

73: Do you have platform shoes?

no

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

im simultaneously really fucking loud and also super fucking reserved and shy

75: Can you do a front flip?

no

76: Do you like birds?

yes

77: Do you like to swim?

uh yes and no. i always hated swimming in swim suits and i dont have trunks that fit me and you cant wear shirts in pools and i cant be shirtless (i totally would tho to spite someone. like “um take off ur shirt u cant wear it in the pool” “yeah ok” *takes off binder* “motherfucKER” idk) but i like being in the water and chilling and i love lazy rivers and stuff

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?

swimming. ice skating is so scary

79: Something you wish didn’t exist:

shitty people or just people

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

my bank account overflowing in money

81: Piercings you have?

both of my earlobes are double pierced

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

i wasnt good at it, but i really enjoyed playing tennis with my old friend. i had a good time every time

83: Favorite person to talk to:

my friends

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

i dont remember much. i joined octoberish in 2012

85: How many followers do you have?

only 364. not much

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

uh i havent tried in a long time but im gonna go ahead and guess no

87: Do your socks always match?

nope. if i can, i usually mismatch them on purpose. they have to have the same texture/thickness though

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

no

89: What are your birthstones?

garnet

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

dog or sloth

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

idk. i like hydrangeas. so them

92: A store you hate?

i cant choose just one, but the type of stores i hate are problematic ones that appropriate shit or are racist and shit

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

00000000 i hate coffee

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

fly. reading minds would stress me the fuck out

95: Do you like to wear camo?

yes and no. see, i hate camo. i think its ugly as fuck. but i do have a shirt i got free from school thats camo. its a little big on me and its comfy to wear to bed or i wore it when i went swimming in the ocean

96: Winter or summer?

my mental health is saying summer but my body temp is saying winter

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

around 49.26 seconds

98: Least favorite person?

too many to choose from

99: Someone you look up to:

jeffrey marsh

100: A store you love?

tillys, vans, zumies. (im like 13 lol i know)

101: Favorite type of shoes

i like mid rise shoes. like converse street mids, vans half cabs, vans bedfords. i also like old skools. i like new balance 710, 576, 574, 565. i like saucony too. not their athletic shit, but their causal wear shoes. NICE. idk i just love sneakers 

102: Where do you live?

indiana

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?

no

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

Dioptase is really pretty

105: Do you drink milk?

yes

106: Do you like bugs?

i like them when theyre not near me

107: Do you like spiders?

spiders creep me out so fuckin much

108: Something you get paranoid about?

mostly how people feel about me 

109: Can you draw:

no

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

uh i think it was something about turn ons or whatever

111: A question you hate being asked?

“What do you want to do after college?”

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?

think so

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

yeah

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

suns out, but there are clouds in the sky

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:

uh

116: Favorite cloud type:

Stratocumulus

117: What color do you wish the sky was?

i like it blue

118: Do you have freckles?

yes

119: Favorite thing about a person:

uh their laugh or smiles. i like seeing people happy and everyones laugh and smiles are different and cute and unique and wonderful

120: Fruits or vegetables?

fruits

121: Something you want to do right now:

sleep or eat

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

sky

123: Sweet or sour foods?

sweet. sour shit makes my jaw hurt

124: Bright or dim lights?

ideally, neither bright nor dim, just the right amount. but dim if not bc bright lights for too long give me headaches

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

idk

126: Something you hate about Tumblr

all the fuckin nazis and racists and aphobes and shit

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

people punching nazis, ace/aro people coming together to have a good time, the positivity posts

128: What do you think about the least?

im not sure

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

my real name, even if it hadnt been legally changed yet

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

a racist

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

im not entirely sure. like there are things i hate and things i love but idk something thats both

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

yeee i do

133: Computer or TV?

computer

134: Do you like roller coasters?

god no

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

i think i get motion sickness. idk about seasickness

136: Are your ears lobed or attached?

i think lobed

137: Do you believe in karma?

idk

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

a solid 3.1

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

some friends call me Denny :)

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

i dont think so? i cant remember

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

yes

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

ive been both, but i hope more good than bad

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

i love giving other people things and helping others

144: What makes you angry

being disrespected, hypocrisy, racism, aphobia, most cis people, homophobia, transphobia, nazis, etc etc

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

only 1 fluently

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

this question makes me laugh. all of my friends arent cis. idk its easier to be around fellow trans/nb people than cis people

147: Are you androgynous?

no

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

eyes

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

im a pretty kind person

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

i dont wanna talk to anyone im p good rn

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

answered this

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

yes and no

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]

im a single pringle

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

i havent really done it much but i think i like it? im not entirely sure

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

yes i do

156: What embarrasses you?

me singing, my music tastes

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

fuckin everything

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

“yeah im a straight girl”

159: How many people are you following?

319

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

80,086

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?

0162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

13,576

163: Last time you cried and why:

uh i think it was bc i was really overwhelmed with school and i had realized i was being taken adtantage of (again) and my eyes were ready to GO

164: Do you have long or short hair?

short hair

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

its been down to my ass before

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

people use it as an excuse to be shitty

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

its interesting to me

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

ive only worn it twice but idk i guess its okay?

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?

no

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

yes

jesus christ this is long. ok. thank you anon

[lycanrox]

4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 15, 17, 20, 21, 22, 23, 29, 32, 33, 34, 37, 56, 59, 60 (lol), 69, 74, 75, 85, 86, and 95!

4. What is your life goal?idk, to make my bfs happy and to live an average life w/o my disabilities holding me back5. Do you have any expieriences with a famous person?im related to the guy who made the sobg Monster Mash, i met the lead singer of rise against, i met the bassist for thousand foot krutch and i met the lead singer of fun. ! theyre allc ool dudes but that was in like 20106. Do you play any sports?i cant anymore bc of my disabilities but i used to be a runner and i swam a little7. What's your worst fear?i have a lot of fears but i dont know what the worst is.. its probably not veing able to take care of myself as an adult8. Who's your biggest inspiration?honestly,? not to be edgy or anything but nobody because i havetn really found anyone who i can look up to9. Do you have any cool talents?i can make my face look like it has foreskin bc of my double chin 15. What's the best dream you've had?umm!!! idk!! a lot of times good dreams make me sad bc they arent true :-( but probably any ones involving realistic situations w my bfs17. Do you have any pets?ya!! at my house i have a dog and his name is sparta, he is so fat and good. i have two cats at my dads house but theyre technically my dads gfs cats so :-/ BUT i lovr them still20. Are you considered popular?not really, im kinda infamous actually nobody likes me, not to be emo or anything21. What is one of your bad habits?destructive impulse decisions22. What's something that makes you feel vulnerablenot wearing my binder or having people (who arent oliver and shae) see me w/o pants on (those two bc theyve seen me pantsless more times than i can count)23. What would you name your children?idk im gonna replace "children" with "pets" bc its more realistic BUT... i wanna give them silly names like beans and meatloaf, i love funny names like that its so pure29. who does your main family consist ofdoes this mean like who i live with? if so then my mom n stepdad but if u mean like mentally... i dont have a cpnnection w anyone in my family bc of a lot of stuff BUT i love my half-sister more than anything, so just her ig32. Do you like rollercosters?yes but i hate lines 3-:33. Can you swim? yeah but it hurts... im gonna try to get back into it soon bc its actually good for ur joints, i just need to et used to it34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse?if i was w someone id depend on them but if i was alone id accept my fate tbh, i cant take care of myself37. What's your favourite colour?wanna hear smth funny? its pastel pink. im so edgy and my blog is so dark n stuff but my favorite color is pink. pastel pink. i love it56. What's your favourite animal?i love all animals!! but i rly love otters ... that MIGHT be my fav animal but dont quote me on tht bc i love puppies59. Do you have good friends?yes! i love my friends theyre all so good!!!60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group?what the fuck is an lgbt69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?theatre !!!!! idc if thats technically work it makes me happy!74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new?when i went to TN to visit ollie back in november!!75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?my mom85. What motivates you to succeed?my bfs, i need to be here to support them86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?i dont remember my dreams often so i dont know... most of my dreams are psychological nightmares and i try to Repress them bc i hate thinking abt it.95. What would you do if you would be invisible?shit idfk!!! probably sneak onto a plane to go see oliver TBQH..